


ovver an ovver an ovver

by Balloon_ROYALTY



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Eridan is really fucking depressed and needs help, Mentioned Feferi Peixes, Mentioned Vriska Serket - Freeform, Meteorstuck, PTSD, Sadstuck, Suicidal Thoughts, self hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 05:39:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10960833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Balloon_ROYALTY/pseuds/Balloon_ROYALTY
Summary: It had been far too long since anyone had seen Ampora.In fact, almost as soon as he had arrived on the meteor, he had disappeared into his block. It was… Disappointing, but nobody could say that it made much of an impact that he left so quickly, seeing as he’d already been pretty isolated before. The only reaction it really got was a disappointed huff from Feferi, and a pledge on Karkat’s part to promptly message him with a well deserved ‘WHAT THE FUCK.’ later.





	1. Chapter 1

It had been far too long since anyone had seen Ampora.  
In fact, almost as soon as he had arrived on the meteor, he had disappeared into his block. It was… Disappointing, but nobody could say that it made much of an impact that he left so quickly, seeing as he’d already been pretty isolated before. The only reaction it really got was a disappointed huff from Feferi, and a pledge on Karkat’s part to promptly message him with a well deserved ‘WHAT THE FUCK.’ later. 

None of the others knew what they actually expected from him, though. Eridan had been left alone on LOWAA for so long, he no longer felt like speaking to anyone. No, he needed to go and document his experiences with the angels, warn people, he needed to take the lead. Unfortunately, though he was in denial of the fact, he was not the type to lead anything, and would find this experience far more difficult than he could currently fathom.  
His pen hovered over a fresh page of his journal. He’d once called it a diary, but Vris had called him out on such a childish title.   
  
_“angels”_  
  
He’d only written the one word, when he froze up. The conditions on LOWAA had been far from favorable, but he didn’t know they would impact him this much. He’d dealt with much worse, he was fine. He could write more. His thinkpan ached as he attempted to recall more details, only to find a blank void. Undeterred, he continued, taking in a very quick hitched breath when the action finally bit him in the ass.  
  
_theyre so fast too fast wwhered it go dont blink wwhere is it oh god oh fuck_  
  
He hadn’t written that down, but he’d certainly frozen up. How could he forget so easily? Perhaps- perhaps there had been a reason that his mind had placed that void of knowledge where it was. Still, he tried to recall more details, to form a coherent sentence. Why was this so difficult?  
  
_NEXT TIME I SEE THAT SHITTY COLOR YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT’LL BE COMING OUT OF YOUR BODY._  
  
Oh god no. He couldn’t, for the love of fucking anything, have any idea why Karkat had said that, but he had the overwhelming feeling that he should start worrying about it soon. He blinked, snapping back to reality as a cracking sound graced his earfins. He hadn’t realized just how hard he’d been squeezing the pen until it broke in two, and he held it up to inspect the break, watching violet leak out of it all over his fingers. It was familiar, and almost pleasant to watch. So he watched, transfixed for a full minute as it stained his grey skin that lovely violet.

_so lovvely wwhy dont wwe paint the rest a me that lovvely vviolet that wway kar could havve his wwish an you wwouldnt havve to deal wwith all this see wworks for evveryone_

Eridan shut himself and his thoughts up. Somebody, aside from Karkat, would certainly notice, right? Shaking his head slightly, to rid himself completely of the mostly unwelcome thought, he took in a deep breath. He couldn’t go back to the slump he’d just escaped.

_“WHAT THE FUCK.”_

Eridan’s earfins twitched as a loud _ping_ met them. He stood up from the book, not bothering to wipe off his hand as he put down the pen carefully, before sitting down in front of the computer, holding his wet hand up slightly as he typed with the other.

_“wwhat”_  
_“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DENSE, SALT-BREATHING IDIOT._ ”

The fact that Karkat had so much faith in his social skills was flattering, in a condescending and ironic way. So was the assumption that he ever bothered to haul his ass into the water to use his gills.

_”WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE SO FUCKING EARLY?!”_  
_“wwhy didnt you”_  
_“THIS ISN’T THE TIME FOR THE SHITTY DANCE OF TRANSPARENT AVOIDANCE THAT WE SO OFTEN TAKE PART IN, AMPORA.”_

On the contrary, Eridan thought it was.

_“kar this is stupid i dont evven knoww wwhy youre askin me this wwhat do you take me for”_  
_“SOMEONE COMPETENT ENOUGH TO ANSWER A SIMPLE QUESTION, APPARENTLY.”_

He had to admit that one stung. Talking to Karkat in general stung, actuallly, after that memo.

_”maybe i just didnt feel like talkin wwho knowws its not like itd matter either wway”_  
_“WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK ARE YOU EVEN SAYING? WHERE’S YOUR USUAL IRONIC FLIRTATION?”_

Eridan cringed back from the screen slightly.

_i can alwways count on you for some good ironic repartee kar nobody else really gets our sense a humor_  
_UGH, NO  
“i told you it doesnt matter alright”_

Was that too out of character? Would he catch on? Eridan didn’t even know what there was to catch on TO, he’d been acting for so long he’d perfected the facade anyway.

_”IT DOES”_  
_“doesnt”_  
_“DOES. TELL ME.”_

Eridan’s pusher felt like it was collapsing in on itself. He needed an excuse.

_“i wwas just thinkin about fef again alright fuckin god dont knoww wwhy youre so insistent”_

Eridan could already tell that that was a mistake. He hoped Karkat wouldn’t tell anyone about-

_HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO THEM_  
_wwhat to wwho_  
_TO_  
_FUCK_  
_I THOUGHT YOU LOVED HER._

Why was it so hard to differentiate between this conversation and that memo?

_”sorry”_

What an idiot. He’d already sent it, there was no going back. Before Karkat had a chance to reply, he ceased trolling him. Eridan leaned back in his chair, still holding his now violet-stained hand out of the way, having nearly forgotten about it by now. It would be a long three-hundred hours.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan can't understand social situations at all, and doesn't even suspect that Karkat will check on him until he's at his door.

 

It would be a long three-hundred hours.  
Eridan’s eyes caught on his hand again. He supposed he’d have to clean that up. Holding in a slight huff, he stood up, ignoring his constantly pinging husktop and constantly vibrating palmhusk. After all, going offline or turning either off would serve as an alarm, and that was the opposite of what he wanted. He just wanted to be left alone.  
  
Despite his hive having been as shit and outdated as it was, it didn’t change his status of blood, and so, just like any other highblood, he had an ensuite. Which, as he thought back on it, was very convenient for him in a situation like this. He wouldn’t want anyone to jump to conclusions- not that they would. He assured himself that he’d inflated his false ego enough to keep any small amounts of turmoil unnoticed.  
At this point, the violet on his hand had almost dried, and so when he moved toward the ablutionbasin to clean it, he had to put quite a bit of effort into scrubbing it off. When he did get it off, it left his skin sore, worn thin and tingling slightly as he watched the violet run down the drain. He increased the water pressure to wash it away faster. The sight, grim though it was, was reassuringly familiar as it ever had been before. He dried his hands off, fixed his cape up and stepped out of the ablutionblock, combing a hand through his hair as he sat down on the edge of his coon. He let out a sigh, which was promptly punctuated by a hoarse voice from the other side of his respiteblock door..  
  
“ERIDAN?”  
  
Eridan jumped slightly, nearly slipping into the sopor. He propped himself up on the other side of the coon to prevent it, adjusting his glasses. Crap, did Karkat hear him?  
  
“ERIDAN, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR. I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE.”  
  
He pushed himself up, staying relatively quiet, unsure of what exactly to do. It didn’t take him long to make up his mind. He reflected on and regretted his decision as he spoke.  
  
“wwhat do you wwant”  
  
He noted how reproachful his tone sounded, reflecting back on his past self in an attempt to determine whether or not he always sounded like that. He supposed Karkat wouldn’t know the difference – aside from during the final battle, he hadn’t spoken to him in person at all.  
  
“YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD JUST STOP RESPONDING WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES? LOOK, I’LL REPEAT WHAT I SAID. OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR.”

Finally letting out an annoyed huff that felt as though it had been building up for forever, Eridan pulled himself over to the door, smoothing the remnants of his gel over the tips of his hair that dared to begin curling again. He was now well aware that he looked tired, and that his hand looked like it had been scrubbed raw. He also didn’t care, and figured that Karkat wouldn’t either. Otherwise, he was perfectly presentable.  
He opened the door.  
  
“thats not exactly an answwer”  
  
His voice was flat as a pancake. He glanced up toward the leader of their little group, eyebrow twitching downward in irritation as he remembered the skin of his palm was still raw.  
  
“noww im not evven allowwed to think about her i assume”  
“OF COURSE YOU’RE ALLOWED TO FUCKING THINK ABOUT HER, I NEVER SAID YOU COULDN’T. I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT THE BULGESMACKING FUCK PREVENTED YOU FROM BEING YOUR USUAL, ATTENTION-WHORISH SELF. AND MOREOVER, WHY YOU DIDN’T TELL ME WHAT WAS GOING ON FROM THE START.”

Okay, that was just insulting. No matter how true it was.   
  
“look kar its NONE A YOUR DAMN BEESWWAX howw i decide to phrase troubles i didnt wwanna share in the first plac-”

  
He was startled when Karkat shoved into the his block mid-sentence.  
  
“hey wwait wwho said you wwere allowwed in here”

Eridan was mildly irritated, and he crossed his arms and nodded towards the exit.

“this place isnt for the likes a landdwweller filth so you can haul your ass out right noww”

He’d regretted saying it almost as soon as he had finished. Surprisingly, though, Karkat didn’t shout at him for it- not any more than usual anyway. He just gave an annoyed sigh, rubbing at his forehead slightly. 

“CLEARLY, YOU DON’T INTEND TO FUCKING GET OUT OF HERE ON YOUR DAMN OWN.”

He made no move to push him out, which Eridan was thankful for. He didn’t want to be touched right now, and Karkat’s attitude was surprisingly perfect for this. 

“SO I’M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU DO.”

Eridan gave a frustrated growl, glaring irritably off to the side. 

“wwell youll be wwaitin a long fuckin wwhile then”

His gaze met Karkat’s for a moment, before he stepped toward his coon. He leaned against the edge of it again, in a somewhat relaxed seeming fashion, despite how tense he was. Karkat glared. 

“JUST HOW DIFFICULT DO YOU INTEND TO MAKE THIS?”   
“its nothin personal but regardless vvery”

Karkat’s finger tapped against his arm, as he scowled with an expression that could almost match Eridan’s.   
  
“IT’S NOT JUST FEFERI, IS IT?”  
  
Eridan tensed up.  
A very long three-hundred hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: fixed ooc-ness and grammatical erros.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat read some of Eridan's journal. Eridan hopes he won't try to read further.

A very long three-hundred hours.

Eridan immediately became as visibly tense as he felt. His earfins twitched and he cursed them internally, trying to keep them still. He doubted Karkat would recognize the more subtle movements, or for that matter, link them to emotions. Regardless, he had a feeling flaring them out would give him away. Even to a landdweller.

"it is just fef"  
"BULL. MOTHERFUCKING. SHIT."

He knew it was a lie. He knew that Feferi and anything short of her impending doom had been the last thing on his mind. The question was whether Karkat knew, or whether he could guess. His palm was throbbing, and he began to regret scrubbing it quite so hard, if only because it made concealing the pain harder.

"ERIDAN. TELL ME."

He could feel the stress building under his skin. It was creating a buzzing that didn't quite reach his ears. He couldn't ignore it. It was blotting out his thoughts. He didn't understand why he was panicking so much.

"if you came in here just to nag at me you can leavve as ivve offered many times"

Karkat took a step closer, and jabbed a pointed finger toward Eridan's chest. Eridan raised his hands, and Karkat's attention was redirected. He paused.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"

He tapped the raw skin with the side of his finger, causing Eridan's shoulders to tense uncomfortably. Eridan's clouded mind raced for an excuse that he didn't need.

"i"

He paused, breaking eye contact to look down and to the right.

"i scraped it on somethin"  
"THAT BADLY?"  
"i wwashed it"

It took him a moment to realize that what he had said in response... really didn't make that much sense. At all. He would have said something else, if Karkat hadn't interrupted his train of thought.

"DUDE, THAT ISN'T WHAT I ASKED."  
"wwell i"

Eridan faltered as Karkat looked toward the seadweller's open journal, furrowing thick eyebrows as he brought his hand down and stepped closer to it.

_"angels"_

The pool of violet next to the book worried him for a moment and he tensed, but he observed that it was much too thin to be blood. His eyes scanned over the page again, halting at the  translucent violet splashes that stained the page. He didn't have half a clue what was going on, but he could guess that it had something to do with Eridan's consorts. The same consorts he'd told Eridan to stop fucking killing. He was sorely tempted to shout at Eridan, to tell him he should have listened. He paused, composing himself. Eridan was obviously shaken. It wouldn't help anyone if he went off on him like that. He picked up the the journal, leading to a noise of protest from Eridan.

"wwait-"

Karkat ignored him, flipping back a few pages. Normally, he would be against this. But his curiosity, he felt, could lead him to the answer he needed. Eridan's earfins were pinned back as he watched his privacy be properly destroyed.

_"night started wwith fef bein a right pain in the ass gettin me to play this stupid game an i really thought shed be grateful for my participation but i guess thats not the case but ill get back to that later cause there are more pressin matters at hand_

_so wwe got into the session an it started out alright ill skip ovver the unnecessary details but basically captors said kars cursed our lusii wwhich is obvviously BS but kan seems to think its a game thin slightly doubtin her composure though i mean her lusus wwent so she couldnt be too calm really after all i wwas just wwith dad an he wwas fine an i havvent heard anythin insinuatin that he might be fucked ovver anytime soon"_

Karkat's frown deepened at that. Based on the time this was written, he'd guess that Eridan really should have known what had happened to his lusus.

_"havvent seen my kernelsprite about either but givven wwevve gotten in fine id say it sorted itself out anywway so back to fef once wwe got in or immediately before really she messaged me an i had just brought up the courage to tell her but she had her owwn piece to say an i guess i oughta be glad she said it but i really cant so i wwent to ask kar for advvice but he wwas gone so i got hooked up in a convvo wwith fuckin gam of all people it coulda been since i figured hed knoww wwhere he wwas an apparently captors dead but its not on me still thatd be wwhat got fef so antsy so i should be considerate_

_still its a little ovverwwhelmin i barely kneww the guy but he changed so much an i knoww i should be mad he chatted it up wwith fef so much but somehoww i cant i mean hes gone an wwe only just started an if id hung behind i coulda kept fefs lusus safe an fed an him alivve wwouldnt be able to play but i didnt wwant to anywway an its all for naught"  
_

Karkat assumed that at this point, Eridan hadn't heard of Sollux's return yet.

_"killed a feww monsters off but these ones wwont die startin to suspect theyre barely monsters but theyre fightin back noww havvent got much of a choice but to keep goin regardless i havvent been able to leavve hivve for a couple hours noww"_

That was where the entry left off. Karkat felt Eridan moving to take his journal back. He didn't stop him.

"IF YOU NEED TO TALK, I'M AVAILABLE, MAN."

Karkat glanced back and down toward Eridan, his eyebrows knitted together in worry, with a grimace to match.

"ill pass"

It was then that Karkat knew that he had to keep reading.

Fuck three-hundred hours, this was long enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, but as long as it's updated...

**Author's Note:**

> This continues fairly frequently actually.


End file.
